Aah the old Protestant Work Ethic....I think it must be so hardwired into my brain that I am not really aware of it until something makes me take a step back. I am by nature a busy person who likes to feel I've achieved something at the end of each day. However, it can be insidious when you do take a break and feel nothing but guilt for "wasting" time. It's not a positive outlook and driving yourself to be industrious the whole time from this position only turns it into a vicious circle.
Today I've taken a step back. I've got the things that needed to be done done [like the ironing...you know it's attained mountain status when you find a lost tribe of Sherpas and a Yeti lurking amongst it!] but have discarded the other exciting things down on The List like cleaning the grout between the kitchen tiles. Honestly when did I get to be so rock 'n' roll?!!!
Shhh I've also taken the racy step [for me that is] of deciding that I can't be bovvered to run the five mile race I signed up for next weekend. I've got a bit caught up in the trying to run further hype that surrounds it all and putting myself under pressure. Now don't get me wrong I have the greatest admiration for those that are dedicated and run fast/far but it just doesn't float my boat nor am I willing to put in the time to train to see "better results". The whole point of the exercise was to relieve my anxiety not increase it. Sometimes I quite enjoy it but I certainly don't love it and sometimes I loathe it. Having made the decision that I am most definitely jogger not runner material it felt like a load taken off my shoulders!
So what has Aril done instead....after a day out in London yesterday with a chum [more of that later on in the week] she took a much needed Nana nap this afternoon. A spot of baking was in order....chocolate sponge and black treacle flap jacks. It's and activity I always find incredibly relaxing. A brief flit to our local nature reserve up the road....no camera so just enjoyed looking....and look I did...hard not to see the wonder in this year's first glimpse of primroses and a wren [even if the birding world rather disparagingly calls them a LBJ= Little Brown Job]. Those wonderfully stubby little tails delight me. Oh yes and I now have a completed gargoyle head done whilst tittering through the Vicar of Dibley DVD. A much needed change in pace to recharge the batteries. I am sure I will be back on the hamster wheel before long but I do at least have more awareness these days.
Mr Philip Callow puts the point across so much more succinctly!
"There is endless time to please yourself the moment you abolish the need to accomplish something."