Death, Dentures and Deceit...Exposing the Underbelly of an Outwardly Respectable Town.

Death:
On Chantry Green one poor John Laundry was burnt at the stake for refusing to renounce his Protestantism under the rule of Bloody Mary on 23rd July 1555.

Dentures:

I can only imagine that this particular set of gnashers were either incorporated into the wall whilst it was being built or shortly after its completion. I gather from extensive online research that there is actually another set and a power ranger set into the cement of the very same wall.

Deceit:

There is a gravestone which reads much as any other but things are not always what they seem. William Cowerson died on 21st February 1832. Stonemason by day but smuggler by night he met an untimely death at the age of 31 when he was shot at close range by a customs man. Not in cold blood for he had just broken the other chap's arm and his gang were mid way through a raid. Not all of the gin and other contraband was recovered....one wonders if some of it was stashed away quietly in the stone sided coffins, as in Arundel and retrieved at a later date when the coast was clear.

The list goes on.....lesbian love affairs, black magic..... If you are ever in these neck of the woods do go on the Steyning Scandals Walk and Talk by Dr Janet Pennington who will give you the full tasty run down. I hasten to add that I have not replicated the content of her talk as I have no wish to steal her work...she is after all the one who's done all the research.

Arilx

Death, Dentures and Deceit.

Well there's a combination to juggle with eh and all set within a quiet corner of Midsomer I mean West Sussex.

Allow me to set the scene...a place which owes its very existence to the credible tale of some poor chap called Cuthmann who, whilst wheeling his poor old ma round in a wheelbarrow with a rope from the handles round his neck [in my town centre on a Saturday night its drunken yoofs with their mates in shopping trolleys but that's a whole different story!], declared it to be the perfect spot to build a church when said rope gave up the ghost.

This is Steyning....an unspoilt Sussex town. I mean look gorgeous plantings and delicious architectural details to behold....

A place of chocolate box cottages where even the workhouse is glorious. Properties that go by the name of Mouse Cottage...

....

Quaint tea rooms and even fluffy creativeness....

But don't be fooled.....all is not quite what it may seem.....

Arilx

Making a Boob.

A dear chum of mine once made an error and texted me to say "Sorry S I've made a boob." I was so delighted at the prospect that I immediately texted her back and asked her if she'd mind making me a perky pair of 34 cup size C as my current chesticles have definitely seen better days. The exchange quickly deteriorated and the rest is simply unrepeatable here. So to maintain standards of decency [not] please allow me to continue in this puerile trend!

Arilx

Notice and Be Amused!

Two recent sightings to raise the corners of my mouth.

Firstly a novel way to ask for a donation to the running of the free and rather marvellous Kirkwall museum.

And then there's this one which I may very well have featured before..my apologies if this is the case but I am way too idle to go back and check! Anyway I am delighted to report that this poster is still up on Billy's gate and I gather he's still very much alive and getting into a spot of hot water now and again. A lady walking her dog asked me if I had ever met Billy when I revisited the village last week and when I said that I hadn't had the pleasure she informed me that "he's quite a character!"

As you know I'm a simple soul and what is it that they say about simple things and simple minds!!

Arilx

Very Important Small Person.

My son had those exact words emblazoned on a t-shirt when he was about 18 months or so. When I look back on that time I was often tired and at my wit's end dealing with a truculent toddler. Basically the experience of most parents I'd say but I do also remember the cuddles and bond we built that holds strong today despite him now being on the cusp of adulthood. I've been doing a spot of winnowing [sounds so much more prosaic than decluttering and I have shamelessly borrowed the term from an online buddy] these past few days and found these moving words in the process.

Beautiful Child

I get in the way- so you say-

I get under your feet. I get up your nose.

I'm so nice when I'm asleep.

But here I am now, wide awake and tied to you.

I want you to carry me when you walk,

To sit upon your lap when you talk.

I want you to notice me, "Give my your full face"

I need you.

And no, I won't ever stop

Unless you shame me, hurt me, terrify me,

Or do something else to check me.

I copy you, everything you do

I adore you-you are my god-

I trust you.

You must be right,

However, you treat me.

I want to help.

I break something. I lose something else.

I make a mess.

I care for you. Maybe you're afraid of the dark like me.

I squeeze in between the two of you.

I keep you awake when you want to sleep.

I don't understand your headaches

Your bad moods, your sarcasm.

I interrupt your meditation, your concentration, your linear world.

When you want me to go fast-

put my leg through the hole,

my foot in the shoe-

I go slow so I get more of you.

And when you want space of your own

I'm always ready to fill it.

I want to hang on to you, cosy up to you

To hit you, bite you and kiss you.

To look long at your face and play with your hair.

I want you.

Push me away and I hold on tighter.

I cling to you.

I won't play, I won't explore;

Maybe I'll lose you some more.

[And perhaps one day when you want me near you,

I'll be gone]

But for now, if I don't get you I'll be sad.

I'll be angry.

And if you won't allow my sadness and anger

My play will freeze, my joy will shrivel, my feelings will numb.

And my sadness and anger will go deep

To emerge later as a compulsion.

If you keep me apart from you, a part of me will die.

I mirror your pain and your joy and your hate-

I dance in your joy

And survive your pain;

Like an oyster I keep the sand of it

Out of even my own sight.

Though I might try I cannot be your Dad.

I cannot bear your pain for you.

I can only survive it at any cost.

I'm a child

A beautiful, wonderful

wondrous child.

A blessing for you from above.

If you let me I'll teach you wonder.

Oh but if you let me I'll teach you innocence.

How to dance and jump for joy.

How to be alive in the moment,

How to laugh, to sing, to cry, to be angry.

I'll teach you how to reclaim your inner child.

I'm not a tease, I'm not a pain

I'm not a brat, I'm not stupid

I'm not ugly, I'm not fat

I'm not an animal, I'm not sexy

I'm not maya.

I'm just a child

a beautiful, wonderful, wondrous child

And anything else you may think about me is all yours

Robery Housden, May 1995

Arilx

Winged Critters.

Bordered Straw Moth [how fab are those green, googly eyes] in my porch.

Peacock butterfly on a neighbour's buddleia. Wings like velvet.

Yes Mother Nature right on my doorstep. Doesn't get much better than this.
Arilx

Lammas

Lammas Blessings to all who celebrate the Old Ways. This is one of the borders on the way into town from our house which the council has once again planted informally with a seed mix. The bees were very industrious.

Arilx