Twisted Humour.

There is something rather marvellous about home grown veg....fear not no lecture from moi regarding the health benefits or the joy of gardening [as I've said before my sole contribution to living "The Good Life" is eating it....Mr GBT does all the hard work] No I speak of the joy of wonky veg...this carrot has given me untold joy....I never get this much pleasure from the fruit and veg aisle in the supermarket I can tell you. The only thing that tops it for me is rude wonky veg...perhaps we'll managed to grow something that falls into that category next year! Here's hoping....as you can tell I harbour some lofty ambitions!

Arilx

The Authentic Voice

The Authentic Voice

Fill the mould we are told, the one with your name on it. 

Discard the bits that don't fit until you're acceptable.

Anything less would be the work of the devil.

Except now I have cast aside the round hole.

Sloughed off the dermis that doesn't breathe.

Embraced the square peg and forged the path forwards

That lets my authentic voice free.

As I turn from the flock, I'm learning to go with the flow.

What to hang on to and what to let go.

Along the path I meet many blocks but they're no longer

an impediment

Or a challenge to stop.

Instead they're the chance to grow slowly,

 To evolve into a life of my choosing

Which allows me to break society's fetters

That's what I'm losing.

Arilx

Here's One I Read Earlier.

One of those books that a dear chum kindly passed onto me earlier this year. It joined the bookpile and was hauled out before we went Orkney.

Miss Prim is a librarian who has very definite ideas about things and rigidly sticks to them. On a whim she takes a job working for "the man in the armchair" in a small village in France- a village based upon old world ideals which challenges her to the very core.

It is a slightly quirky, charming read [in a similar vein to "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society] which follows her journey of self discovery. It wasn't a title I had ever encountered but it made a refreshing change from the normal run of the mill tomes.

Arilx

Death, Dentures and Deceit...Exposing the Underbelly of an Outwardly Respectable Town.

Death:
On Chantry Green one poor John Laundry was burnt at the stake for refusing to renounce his Protestantism under the rule of Bloody Mary on 23rd July 1555.

Dentures:

I can only imagine that this particular set of gnashers were either incorporated into the wall whilst it was being built or shortly after its completion. I gather from extensive online research that there is actually another set and a power ranger set into the cement of the very same wall.

Deceit:

There is a gravestone which reads much as any other but things are not always what they seem. William Cowerson died on 21st February 1832. Stonemason by day but smuggler by night he met an untimely death at the age of 31 when he was shot at close range by a customs man. Not in cold blood for he had just broken the other chap's arm and his gang were mid way through a raid. Not all of the gin and other contraband was recovered....one wonders if some of it was stashed away quietly in the stone sided coffins, as in Arundel and retrieved at a later date when the coast was clear.

The list goes on.....lesbian love affairs, black magic..... If you are ever in these neck of the woods do go on the Steyning Scandals Walk and Talk by Dr Janet Pennington who will give you the full tasty run down. I hasten to add that I have not replicated the content of her talk as I have no wish to steal her work...she is after all the one who's done all the research.

Arilx

Death, Dentures and Deceit.

Well there's a combination to juggle with eh and all set within a quiet corner of Midsomer I mean West Sussex.

Allow me to set the scene...a place which owes its very existence to the credible tale of some poor chap called Cuthmann who, whilst wheeling his poor old ma round in a wheelbarrow with a rope from the handles round his neck [in my town centre on a Saturday night its drunken yoofs with their mates in shopping trolleys but that's a whole different story!], declared it to be the perfect spot to build a church when said rope gave up the ghost.

This is Steyning....an unspoilt Sussex town. I mean look gorgeous plantings and delicious architectural details to behold....

A place of chocolate box cottages where even the workhouse is glorious. Properties that go by the name of Mouse Cottage...

....

Quaint tea rooms and even fluffy creativeness....

But don't be fooled.....all is not quite what it may seem.....

Arilx

Making a Boob.

A dear chum of mine once made an error and texted me to say "Sorry S I've made a boob." I was so delighted at the prospect that I immediately texted her back and asked her if she'd mind making me a perky pair of 34 cup size C as my current chesticles have definitely seen better days. The exchange quickly deteriorated and the rest is simply unrepeatable here. So to maintain standards of decency [not] please allow me to continue in this puerile trend!

Arilx

Notice and Be Amused!

Two recent sightings to raise the corners of my mouth.

Firstly a novel way to ask for a donation to the running of the free and rather marvellous Kirkwall museum.

And then there's this one which I may very well have featured before..my apologies if this is the case but I am way too idle to go back and check! Anyway I am delighted to report that this poster is still up on Billy's gate and I gather he's still very much alive and getting into a spot of hot water now and again. A lady walking her dog asked me if I had ever met Billy when I revisited the village last week and when I said that I hadn't had the pleasure she informed me that "he's quite a character!"

As you know I'm a simple soul and what is it that they say about simple things and simple minds!!

Arilx