Hunting the Haggis

 [image from Pixabay]

Knowing that my Aberdonian friend, C, will be celebrating Burns Night tonight I asked him a few weeks ago where he got his haggis from as he's lived down South for years......with a twinkle in his eye I was informed that you don't buy a haggis you have to hunt them.....

First you need to find a mountain and then climb to the top of it where the haggises live. Descend slowly in an anticlockwise direction for haggises nearly always come down clockwise. Knowing that their legs are longer on their portside than their starboard size, when you meet one face to face you must blow your whistle and wave your arms at it. This will frighten it and it will try to run down, but overbalance and topple over the mountain side. You can then collect your haggis at your leisure once you make it back down to the bottom. Thinking things through I foresee a couple of problems....Sussex doesn't have any mountains and once in a while you may encounter a haggis that only goes in an anticlockwise direction. In that case you'll have to go hunting in the supermarket instead.

Now surely an 85 year old Scotsman wouldn't have fibbed to me would he😉😄