Wednesday 21 August 2013


One of the unforeseen joys of becoming self employed after my redundancy was the need to complete an annual tax return.  I was disappointed to learn that I had run out of displacement activities yesterday so the Time Had Come to wedge my rump into a chair and complete the darned thing! I am pleased to report that I earn so little that I am actually owed a refund but I still reckon that Mr Mark Twain summed up the whole business rather well in this acerbic comment!

"What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin"

Since the beginning of the summer holidays the small person has had yet another major clear out of his room including this little gem- "The Wicked Wit of Insults" compiled by Maria Leach. Before I pass it on to the charity shop I thought you might enjoy a small sample!

" The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm."
Alexander Woollcott

"The English never smash in a face. They merely refrain from asking it to dinner."
Margaret Halsey

"Woman would be more charming if one could fall into her arms without falling into her hands."
Ambrose Pierce

"It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and superior impartiality."
Arnold Bennett

"The mistake a lot of politicians make is forgetting they've been appointed, and thinking they've been anointed."
Mrs Claude Pepper

"He'll double-cross that bridge when he comes to it."
Oscar Levant on a politician

"He's called a broker because after you deal with him you are."

"A dramatic critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned."
George Bernard Shaw

And finally Mr Mick Jagger

Or in the opinion of Joan Rivers:

"This man has child bearing lips."


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