Thursday 25 July 2013

Cheeky Odes

There is nothing so much I love as a bit of unpretentious rude poetry to make me titter. I share with you a couple of my favourites which amuse me in a Les Dawson meets Beryl Cook type way!

Firstly the one off Roald Dahl

A Hand In The Bird

 I am a maiden who is forty,
And a maiden I shall stay.
There are some who call me haughty,
But I care not what they say.

I was running the tombola
At our church bazaar today,
And doing it with gusto
In my usual jolly way

When suddenly, I knew not why,
There came a funny feeling
Of something crawling up my thigh!
I nearly hit the ceiling!

A mouse! I thought. How foul! How mean!
How exquisitely tickly!
Quite soon I know I'm going to scream.
I've got to catch it quickly.

I made a grab. I caught the mouse,
Now right inside my knickers.
A mouse my foot! It was a HAND!
Great Scott! It was the vicar's!

And a short one which I encountered when doing my 'A' Level English back in the 18th century.

Groupie- Lynn Peters

So I went backstage and told him
I thought his performance was fine.
I loved it but only half as much
As he was going to love mine.

And on that high note until next time......



Shropshire Church Crawling Gems

Sifting through all the photos from my annual holiday church crawl, I've picked out these which I hope people find to be of interest. It...